Amazing, Humorous and Sarcastic Best Travel Quotes in 2020


Funny besy travel quotes are great to cheer up your day and keep the travel bug.

Humor will help you to turn around a bad day, simply a laugh would change your mood! That’s one reason why we do love these funny quotes and wanted to collect some of them for you.

We had a look at the travel quotes out there and we collected these 26 funny travel quotes.

Some of these funny quotes we found them on our 5 Star Hostels!

In case you need more inspiration or just wanna read more travel quotes, we also can help you in collecting more travel quotes.

I hear you wonder: How did we collected so many quotes?

Well, we are quite traditional here: we do always carry with us a travel notebook.

There we write all the quotes we have come across during our travels, as well as many other notes. And of course, pinterest!

Looking for captions and quotes for instagram? Here you find the BEST instagram captions for friends and couples.

More inspiration:

Well… we let you enjoy this moment.

We Hope You Do Laugh, Remember, Love and Share These Funny Travel Quotes.


1. He didn’t really like travel, of course. He liked the idea of travel, and the memory of travel, but not travel itself. – Julian Barnes

2. People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American. – David Sedaris

3. What is it about maps? I could look at them all day, earnestly studying the names of towns and villages I have never heard of and will never visit… – Bill Bryson

4. I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. – Jon Ronson

5. Modern traveling is not traveling at all; it is merely being sent to a place, and very little different from becoming a parcel. – John Ruskin

6. You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey. – Bill Murray

7. In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. – Mark Twain

8. The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass. – Mark Twain

9. Every Englishman abroad, until it is proved to the contrary, likes to consider himself a traveler and not a tourist. – Evelyn Waugh 

10. In some peculiar way, indeed, the rules were now beginning to seem quite logical. It was then I knew that I had been in India long enough. – Tahir Shah

11. Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive. – Mercedes Lackey

12. Statuettes of drunken sailors, velvet pictures of island maidens, plastic seashell lamps made in Taiwan. What contempt the people who think up souvenirs have for other people. – Diane Johnson

13. Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. – Jerry Seinfeld

14. It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport’. – Douglas Adams

15. It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. – Woody Allen 

16. He has a passport,” my classmates would whisper. “Quick, let’s run before he judges us! – David Sedaris

17. It is the right of a traveler to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends. – Susanna Clarke

18. Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything. – Steve Martin

19. A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time. – Chelsea Handler

20. Switzerland is only bearable covered with snow,” Aunt Augusta said, “like some people are only bearable under a sheet. – Graham Greene

21. There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children. – Robert Benchley

22. When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money. – Susan Heller

23. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. – George Carlin

24. Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror. – Al Boliska

25. Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo. – Al Gore

26. I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal! – Jarod Kintz

27. You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful. – Paul Theroux

28. There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous. – Theo Cowan

29. Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.” – Dave Barry

30. The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” –Russell Baker

31. One senses that, in these conditions, no amount of wet-wiping could bring true hygiene. – Tahir Shah

Here’s A Full List of Funny Travel Quotes


1. “Forget champagne and caviar – Taste the world instead!”

– Hostelgeeks

2. Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “”Like, to the park?”

3. “I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”

4. “Men to the left because woman are always right”.”

5. “The journey, not the arrival, matters.”

6. “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.”

– The Dalai Lama

7. It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!

8. “Have a fun(tache)tic day!.”

9. “Most things in life people are worried about, never happen anyway!.”

10. “Never stop doing things for the first time.”

11. “I can’t control the wind but I can adjust the sail.”

12. “A journey is measured in friends rather than miles.”

– Tim Cahill

13. “Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

14.  “Laugh more, worry less!”

15. “I want to make memories all over the world.”

16. “If you are upset just think about a T-Rex trying to drink a Martini.”

17. “Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.”

18. “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

19. “If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.”

20. “Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a tan, fall in love, never return.”

– Anonymous

21. “I’m in love with places I’ve never been to.”

22. “Free Boobs! Just kidding – Free Fruit!

22. “When life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars.”

23. “If you don’t belong, don’t be too long.”

24. “I need vitamin SEA.”

25.“The people who made you laugh are more beautiful than beautiful people.”

26. “People don’t take trips. . . trips take people.”

– John Steinbeck

27. “Make salsa, not war!”

28. “I hate traveling, no traveler ever said”

29. “Don’t look for love. Look for good coffee!”

30. You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…

31. Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your instagram account!

32. “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”

– Caskie Stinnett

33. There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.

34. If traveling was free, BYE!

35. “I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all!”

36. “Worst thing about being a tourist, is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!” – Russell Baker

37. “And then I went to the Sangria Familia…!”

38. “Jet Lag is for Amateurs”

39. “Work hard, travel harder”

40. I will conquer the world. Like, from here to the post box.

41. If travel would be free, you would never see me again. But it isn’t, so….what do we do tonight?

42. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. – George Carlin

43. If you are going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

44. A change of latitude would help my attitude.

45. Suitcases are for princesses!

46. “The best things in life are free. The 2nd best things are super expensive!”

47. “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

48. Reality called, so I hung up.

49. Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You Too? I thought I was the only one.”

50. Kinda classy, kinda hood.

51. I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!

52. I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.

53. Whenever you feel sad, remember, that somewhere in the world there is a guy pulling a door that says push.

54. All I want in life is pancakes!

55. “Every day can be an adventure.”


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